Thought my com kana virus... thank God it's not... somehow, it can work again. Yes.
I recorded "Mabel's Song" just now... I took her blog entry of do't-know-when... Then, I added melody... Wait till she recieves it...
I should learn to count my blessings more nowadays especially all the more when I am in such a vocation... Makes me realise if I don't count my blessings, I'ld soon be consumed and corrupted by my circumstances. Erractic schedule.... O well, focus on the good... Lord, help me to love you with my mind too!
Slowly... Steady... I'm gonna clear up my room to make it tidy. I'm gonna organise my files as much as I can (it's just too much!). I'm gonna sort things out... sort things out... dad, You know i cannot without You. I can, only with You. OK! Right after this entry, I'm gonna prepare and send my duty schedule to Eugene, Veron, Jeremiah, and Hendra...
Step by step... Step by step... Slowly, but surely... I am moving... Forward.. On... Reaching... Soon...
Lord, thank you for never ever forsaking me. Thank You for never giving up on me. Thank You for sending certain people into my life. Thank You fo them... Thank you for Jesus! All I am, for all You deserve, You are good!
Some problems are still there, like my scars, but I can't do much now. Move on.
Some once-in-a-lifetime moments, like fellowshipping with my friends, I cannot miss..
I miss the times when I was Dennis' sheep... I miss the times when I was under him, and serving in EAST, along with Sharlene, Gwen, and all... It seems like the moment I transfered out of EAST, a part of me is stuck in that time, and my growth is "twisted" all over. I remembered I cried many nights the first few months I was in TP, but no one knows. I prayed so much and confided in Him so pouringly... How I miss... But I moved on...
After TP, I did not leave an examplary legacy. Instead, I left with bitter memories and sour disappointments. I tried to let go and let god, but it's really not easy...
Now in NS, I am scrutinized in a whole new fashion. Injuries after injuries. Blessings of knowing some new faces and becoming close with them personally. Maybe that's a breakthrough? But I am still dealing with my insecurity of how people think of me when they see me and bla bla bla... I am battered by the erractic schedule of my vocation and no longer can I hold true to any promises. So I stop making promises that's within my 2 years service.
Now, I only have major aim, to improve in my musicianship. The rest, yes, they'll all be in line with what i have always believd in... It's all about Jesus... haiz... nvm...
No comments:
Post a Comment