Feels Like It's Time to Dream Again

I need Your peace within me...

Chose NUS (Business Admin).
Chose "No" for EI survey, no command school.

Once again, this thought of doubt and feeling of discouragement enveloped me.

Now, all I have is my family. In church, I am so uncertain and lost lehz... Nel said that Jasmine and team are trying out to create NS structure in tertiary. Trying out... My name is in TP, but I am neither here nor there. I have graduated frm TP, in NS, but not yet in NUS. I have no pherd and no 1 to watch over me, only God and God alone. Ever since I stepped down more than a year back, everything's like tumbling down and I am "rebuilt" by God's events for me... My desire for playing guitar only increases, but all the more I am "prevented" from playing. Yes, I am very discourage.

I pray that Mabel and her brother, Andy, will be tocuhed utterly by God in June camp. I pray that 2 person will sort out God above themselves. I pray that Chialing will go June Camp and be healed spiritually, quicker and stronger. I pray that Glenn and guys will be united. I pray that TP people will humble themselves and relent to have more mercy and grace. I pray that God will deal with me ever so severely if I stray away, but only do not let me depart from Him or Him from me. For I wanna choose Him every time.

I wonder how will my posting be like after BMT.

Did some planning... Hope all things work well, 'cos I commit everything to God. Nowadays, I feel much closer to God... Speaking to Him like never before.. everywhere I go, anything I do... lols.. God, will I ever play music for You? Will You let me? Is this Your will? If not, will You take away this desire outta me, 'cos it's storming within my heart. Is this how You usually deal with Your people?

I need peace of mind.

Purpose-driven.

Please take my life... please take my life... please take my life and use it, my God, my Lord, my Leader, my most faithful Friend...

"When will my day come?"
"Is this how You usually deal with Your people?"
"I look forward to heaven."
"Small small yet big big."

I never say I am a pro guitarist... I... I... Seng... Nel... JonLee... Wanqi... Shar... Donald... Ritchie... Glenn... Joleen... Mab... YuQian... Dennis... Haiz...

I am tired... I am discouraged... I am sad... I am disheartened... I am weak, thirsty, and hungry already... eeeeeeks!!!

Such a sad entry today.